


Five Times Alex Danvers Falls Asleep at the Movies

by freewillandphysics



Series: Movieverse [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, POV Second Person, some slight angst in the middle probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-21 22:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9569588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freewillandphysics/pseuds/freewillandphysics
Summary: Five times that Alex Danvers falls asleep at the movies throughout her life





	1. Jeremiah

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'ed. All grammar/spelling mistakes are my own.
> 
> This is mostly a character study of Alex, but there will be Sanvers in Chapters 4 and 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's first movie

You are 3 years and 285 days old.

 

You feel very yucky because of something called the Chicken Pox. It sounds funny but it doesn’t feel funny. All you want to do is itch all the spots on your skin, even though Mommy says you can’t. Normally you can’t follow Mommy’s instructions that good but this time you feel so tired that you can’t even lift your hand to scratch.

 

You know it is Monday because Mommy said she had to go back to work. Mommy and Daddy have both been staying home with you. They _never_ do that and it makes you so happy. You’re also mad that you don’t even get to enjoy it because your body hurts too much to play and you keep falling asleep all the time.

 

She kisses you and tells you to feel better, reminds you not to scratch, and gives Daddy a long list of rules.

 

At breakfast, Daddy watches you eat your oatmeal and says “Kiddo, how do you feel?” you say “Better, I think” because you feel hungry and you’re excited to spend the day with Daddy and you haven’t felt either of those things for a very long time. Daddy tilts his head in a way that you learned means he’s thinking. Usually, this means he is going to walk away to go to his office and write a lot of stuff down.

 

But his time he says “do you think you’re up for the movie theater?” and you’re so happy because you have never been to the movies. Vicky told you that it feels like magic because she got to go for her birthday and you nodded like you felt the same way even though you didn’t _really_ know what she meant.

 

You’ve had 6 days of terrible, but now you get to go to the _movies_. You pick out your outfit all by yourself but Daddy helps you get dressed because even though you feel better, your arms and legs feel very heavy and don’t do all the things you tell them to too good. He tells you that that is because you are still pretty sick. The Chicken Pox takes a long time leave.

 

Daddy takes you to the drug store but he doesn’t buy you more medicine. He buys you a bag of Jolly Ranchers, which you are big enough to suck on now if you are really extra careful and promise not to choke. He says they will help your throat even though they are candy. He also buys the cherry throat drops you like that are also kind of candy in case you need those too. He buys himself dark chocolate with almonds and gives you a “Daddy” look. This is because he thinks you are going to make fun of him because almonds are a healthy food and dark chocolate is gross, and you don’t understand why grownups like yucky things even when they get to pick out a treat. You are still very tired so you just roll your eyes at him instead of saying all of this. It makes your eyes and your head kind of hurt like a bruise, but Daddy laughs very hard as he picks you up and walks to the counter so you don’t mind it so much.

 

At the movies he buys a large popcorn and a large ICEE and winks at you. He lets you pick your favorite flavors - layer them until you can’t anymore and then puts on the lid so you can get even more. When you hit the lever too hard, and a little bit bursts out of the top, he laughs and winks again. You’re pretty sure Mommy would be mad about it, and you decide that you will tell her if she asks, but otherwise she doesn’t need to know. Based on the look Daddy is giving you, you don’t think he is going to tell on you.

 

Daddy puts his hand on your shoulder and guides you to a door. You notice that there is a number on top of it - 17. Ms. Avery just taught you about numbers and you know that 17 is almost on the way to 20. Once you go through the door it is very dark, but you’re not scared because there is lights on the ground and Daddy’s hand is still on your shoulder. It feels kind of heavy but in a way that makes you feel good.

 

He walks you through the dark, past a lot of seats and steers you into a row. You turn left (Ms. Avery also taught you about left) and when he lets go you see a big comfy seat in front of you. You look at him to make sure that it is yours and he shakes his head up and down and smiles.  You’ve never had such a big comfy seat that was just yours and you feel very important. Once you are settled you look at Daddy to make sure it is okay, and he smiles at you and pulls out all of your treats.

 

Daddy pushes a button and your chair turns into a bed and it feels like magic and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this happy. Once the leg thing comes all the way up he says “Alex, relax, the movie will start soon”.

 

The screen keeps showing boring commercials, and even though you like that you have a whole seat for your very own, it makes you feel too shivery. So you climb over the armrest, almost knock the ICEE to the floor but Daddy saves it. He always saves everything. And he is so warm.

 

You make yourself comfortable and you put your head at the spot between his head and shoulders that you really like. So that your hair gets in the way of his chin and his beard itch you.

 

Everything feels dark and warm and safe. And you still feel kinda itchy and tired but also not really.

 

And Daddy says, “Sweetie, look, the movie’s starting” and you keep trying to look, but you’re so tired. There’s a girl. She’s very pretty and she has an old dad. He’s an inventor. That means he makes things out of the things he finds just like you always try to do. And there are so many colors and music, but you are so tired, and still kind of a little bit itchy, and Daddy is so warm and he’s _here_ even though it is still Monday and the whole room is so dark.

 

And you feel...something. Safe, but Mommy and Daddy always make you feel safe. And happy, but school and your friends and building blocks always make you feel happy.

 

You feel something you don’t think there is a word for. But it feels warm and happy and a little bit itchy and it smells like Daddy.

 

You wake up to the sound of his voice when there are white letters moving up a black screen.

  
When you’re all better, you tell all of your friends at school that you went to the movies and it was _so_ great. And there was treats and dark and songs and _Beauty and the Beast_ is your very favorite movie now. But you don’t tell any of them you fell asleep. Not even Vicky.


	2. Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's first movie.

Kara has been your sister for 54 days.

 

This is your 3rd attempt to take her to a movie. The first time she got too overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds. She started freaking out - covering her ears and closing her eyes and kind of humming. You feel really bad that everything on Earth is so terrifying for her and also everyone was kind of looking your way.

 

You spend _most_ of your energy trying to be as invisible as possible. The moment Kara enrolled in school and introduced herself as your new sister, that task became a lot more difficult. It’s enough to cause gossip even though the other kids don’t realize she’s an alien with superpowers. Mom tells you to embrace the challenge and think of it as “AP level” high school survival. Your first major test was getting Kara out of that movie theater as quickly as possible.

 

Dad did some sciencey stuff that would make the movie easier for Kara. (You used to watch him make weapons, but now all his time is spent inventing accommodation devices for Kara. His home laboratory is a _lot_ less interesting lately).  

 

The second time you took her, she made it past a few previews, until there was one that had some large explosion in it. You could tell Kara was trying really hard not to embarrass you, but she squeezed your hand so tight she bruised a bone in your thumb and was breathing hard and fast, loud enough that you didn’t need super-hearing to pick up on it. She was out of her seat by the time you were finished asking her if she wanted to leave.

 

 _This_ time you’ve done everything you possibly can to make sure she’ll be okay. You’ve already seen this movie, _The Road to El Dorado_ , to make sure there was nothing that would upset Kara, during a “science fair meeting” a few days ago. You tell her to wait outside, you put your coats on two seats in the very back row, which is closest to the exit, and then you get enough food for 8 people and stand outside of the theater with her, pretending that you want to chat without disturbing the previews. As soon as you see the lights go down, you grab Kara’s hand and lead her to your seats. The small, whispered “thank you, Alex” you hear as Kara puts her forehead against your temple for a moment makes all of the failed attempts and prep-time worth it.

 

It’s 20 minutes later and you are bored. Kara has already finished all of her snacks so you gave her yours. You think she must have seen the look on your face when you reluctantly handed over your ICEE, because she takes one sip, makes an exaggeratedly disgusted face, and tells you that she doesn’t like it. Your first instinct is to make fun of her for being such a bad faker. Your second is to tell her you’re not as dumb as she apparently thinks you are; you’ve seen her drink 4 cups of this exact flavor in a 7-11 parking lot last week as a bunch your friends looked on in wonder. Luckily you manage to suppress both of these urges, and choose to savor your treat.

 

You’ve seen this movie, and honestly, it wasn’t that interesting the first time around. You are too old for this kind of thing, and it doesn’t have any of the stuff you like, because any of that would have disqualified it from being a movie Kara could watch without getting scared or sad.

 

You realize you are tired. You are always tired because of school and surfing and science fair and other clubs and late-night reading, but this isn’t that. You are completely, just-took-some-flu-medicine level tired. You think it makes sense. Being 14 was hard enough before Kara came along. Now, on top of everything else, you spend your nights awake talking with her, exchanging stories about Krypton and Earth.

 

Most nights, after you fall asleep, Kara wakes up screaming, or crying, or speaking a language you only know a few words of. She sleeps in your bed more often than not, and she tosses and turns, and she’s so _strong_ because of your stupid yellow sun, even when it’s not shining. You’ve gotten more bruises sleeping with Kara in 2 months than you have from 5 years of surfing.

 

It’s not just your body that is tired. Your _brain_ feels tired too. Since Kara got here you think all of the time. You think about where she is and what could hurt her. What could upset her. What kind of trouble she could get into. You think about all of the things that other people _don’t_ think about because Kara asks questions nobody else does.

 

You try to see everything as though you’ve never seen it before, and think of ways to explain how it all works. You think about people that no longer exist on a planet that exploded before you were born. You think about the life you would be living if your sister hadn’t dropped from the stars. You think about all of the people that used to love her, and you try to figure out a way for you to give her at least that same about of love even though you are just one girl. You think about all of the words you are going to say all the time before you say them. You analyze them for secrets that aren’t yours to tell, and things that nobody else knows exist.

 

Thinking about thinking about all of these things makes your head even heavier. You let it fall back onto your headrest, and turn so you’re looking at Kara. She’s staring up at the screen in wonder, and shoving food into her mouth with her left hand while her right hand hits the button that moves her footrest a few inches up and down up and down up and down. The last thing you think before your eyes close is “sometimes seeing the world with new eyes isn’t such a bad thing”.

 

You wake up to Kara whispering at you. (She still hasn’t gotten the hang of it). “Alex. Alex. I think the movie’s over. There are still pictures on the wall but it’s all words and everyone else is starting to get their coats on, so that means it’s over, right?” As you feel the words vibrate into your hair, you realize that at some point your head fell onto her shoulder.

 

You pick it up, squinting, glance at the screen and say, “yeah it’s over. That’s the credits - the names of all the people who helped make the movie”. She says “oh! it makes sense that it takes a lot of people because that was amazing! There were so many colors and they used _music_ to help tell the story!” You say “yeah. That’s called a musical; not all movies have singing. I guess they all pretty much have music though.” As you start gathering up wrappers you hear “Well I only want to see musicals because, Alex, why would you ever see a movie without singing? It’s the best part!”. You tell her that you’ll take her to as many musicals as she wants and she beams at you.

 

Your parents are outside, waiting for you in the car. You’re heading to a restaurant to eat dinner as a family, which Kara is somehow in desperate need of despite the fact that she just cleared out an entire shelf of snack foods.

 

Before Mom can finish asking “how was the movie?” Kara is rambling. About how she loved every minute of it. When she mentions that she can’t believe that you fell asleep, Dad winks at you in the rearview. You laugh and for a moment you are transported back to your very first movie, when you were so little, and Dad was still the only superhero you knew.

 

There aren’t many people you really feel truly comfortable and safe around. There’s Mom, Dad, Vicky, and sometimes Clark. You don’t know how Kara made it onto the list so quickly. You wonder if it has to do with the fact that she is your sister. If maybe she was your sister even before you knew each other existed.

 

Either way, you are fine with being tired and bruised and sleeping through every movie for the rest of your life if it means that your little sister is happy.

 

As you watch her, with her big smile and sunshine eyes and words that are coming out so fast you can’t tell if she is inadvertently slipping in and out of Kryptonese again, you realize that this moment might be the first time since she landed on Earth that she’s not thinking about a planet long-ago destroyed. About a family that’s been dead for decades now.

  
She’s just a kid who’s telling her parents about how her big sister took her to the movies.

 

You know right then that you will do whatever it takes for your entire life to give Kara as many of these moments as you possibly can.


	3. Kevin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This includes a lot of compulsory heteronormativity and Alex figuring out that this is not her thing.
> 
> Next chapter is Sanvers, though!

You are on you're first date.

At the movies with Kevin. He is nice. And exactly your type. He is 16 and you are 16 and he's in most of your classes and he is skinny and he is pretty smart,

All the smart kids have the same classes as you, so you see him all day, every day. That's how you know he is exactly your type.

He is really skinny. You eat a lot, a much as you can. You never get enough food with your new sister. But sometimes you go to the local burger place with your friends. And you order enough food, but you still finish up all their leftovers. They know to ask you if you want them, and you’re happy to take all you can. No matter how much you eat, you can never get enough food to fill you up.

Kevin is your type because he is skinny and you are skinny too. Too skinny, your teachers keep saying. You don’t know what else to do. You are a little upset because apparently you raised some kind of red flag that could eventually lead to Kara. You spend your whole life trying to be invisible but the annual school physical made the school nurse see you. You don’t know how to make her stop. She asked you if you eat, and you didn't know how to tell her that you manage to get enough against a Kryptonian, which should be enough, thank you very much.

You are afraid that your mom is going to scold you about this, like she does about everything else. You hate that somehow Kara managed to pass this test but you didn’t. Your alien sister is somehow better are being human than you are.

You need to be better to protect her.

But you _are_ skinny. And you think about if you had a boy that liked you, you think that he should probably be pretty skinny too. You think about this a lot. How this is your type - skinny guys. You know a little bit about sex and what you do know makes you think that a skinny guy would make it maybe not so bad.

Kevin is skinny. And he is in Mathletes with you. When you best him in practice, or when you score higher than him in competitions, he shakes your hand, a lot disappointed but a little bit impressed.

Most boys won’t shake your hand. Some of them slap it away and you hate that; it’s their way of saying they knew the answer but just couldn’t get it in time. Most of them ignore you. They pretend that you don’t exist, that there is not a girl who understands how to graph an equation better than them. It hurts your feelings but you get it. It’s hard understanding concepts most people don’t. It’s lonely.

But no matter what, Kevin is gracious. And he understands pretty difficult equations, and he has dark hair that would probably look nice if he wasn’t constantly running a hand through it.

Kevin asks you out, as you’re packing up your books after chemistry. You don’t know what to say except, you look to Vicky, your very best friend. She is dating Bobby; he’s standing next to her, smug, even though you know none of his chemical equations were balanced. You hate him and you don’t know why.

But Vicky is looking at you so hopeful, maybe more hopeful even than Kevin.

You miss her. You miss the cafeteria conversations, and the after school meet-ups, and the sleepovers. You are happy for her; you are. I mean, okay, maybe you’re not. You miss your friend and you are happy that she is happy but you don’t know how to get back to the way you used to be.

Maybe it is for you to get a boyfriend. Maybe that is why Vicky looks so excited when Kevin asks. Because you have something in common again. And so you say yes.

You say yes.

And Kevin is so happy. And Kara is so happy, but she is always so happy. But mom is also really happy, and she never is. She has a smile that almost looks like before. It’s been a really long time since you’ve seen her smile. You think that you are finally doing something normal. You tried so hard but you were never quite good enough. You stumbled in all the places Kara instinctively knew how to run. But you have a date. A Date. And Kara hasn’t had a date yet.

And mom is so happy. And Kara is somehow happier. So you get excited. You are excited to go on your date. With Kevin. Who is exactly your type. Skinny and smart with possibly nice hair.

You go to the movies with Kevin and with Bobby and with Vicky. Mom is so happy. She takes pictures. Kara is so happy too. And you think you might be doing something right.

You see some movie about the Matrix. You don’t care. Bobby tells you about the earlier movies. You couldn’t care less. It’s about some alternate reality and your reality consists of an alien you share a bathroom with, but you can’t say that you so just nod.

You sit next to him. Kevin is on your right and Vicky is two seats over, on the other side of Bobby. You wish you were near her. That she could make all of this okay. She would make this all okay.

As it is, you sit, watching the previews, never more aware of your own body, You feel weird putting your right arm on the arm rest. You feel weird _not_ putting your arm on the arm rest. Kevin’s left arm is kind of to his side, but is that an invitation? You have no idea. You keep your arms very close to your body. You don’t know want to do about your shared popcorn. You play it safe, not eating anything. Not even sipping from your own ICEE. Even though when you poured it Kevin smiled and said “nice technique” and it made you feel like you weren't failing at this for a moment. You put it in the cupholder you share. And you wait for him to sip from it. He never does. You don’t either, even though it’s your favorite, a treat you’re not otherwise allowed.

You think about your body. And what you’re supposed to do. It upsets you, but mostly it makes you tired. Your eyes feel heavy. You don’t care about this movie. You don’t really care about this boy. You could maybe talk to Vicky but she is so far away.

And you try to follow it. You know Kevin cares about it. But you’re tired. You’re tired of all the secrets you’re keeping. You’re tired of your brain working all the time. You’re tired of trying to understand a movie you don’t care about. You realize that you are tired all the time. And you know that Mom and Kara and probably Dad too if he is really looking down on you like everyone keeps telling you he is, want this date to go well. But you are so tired. And you don’t know about this movie and you don’t care. And everything is so hard and it’s so dark.

You wake up to Bobby tapping your shoulder. God, you hate him. You normally don’t completely understand why. But this time you do. He woke you up and you are still so tired. You look at Vicky’s expectant face and the way she’s nodding her head in the direction of your date. (Oh, that's right. Your date.) You turn your head to Kevin. He’s kind of sheepish, but he always is. You make excuses; tell him how stressed you are and how hard Junior year has been. And how your sister is a handful. And how you’re always tired.

He looks like he gets it. Mentions that school and studying and college searching has been pretty rough on him too recently. 

You all go to get burgers together. And Kevin offers to take you home before everyone is finished, like he knows you're done with this date even before you do. Even though Vicky is there and she is your favorite, you don’t feel good. You just want to go home.

Kevin drops you off in front of your house. He leans in for a kiss, and so you kiss him. You think about it the whole time. The technique - what you’re doing with your lips, with your tongue. You still have no idea what to do with your arms. He seems happy when he pulls away (finally!) though. You thank him for the date. Tell him you had a really good time. You’re not _completely_  lying. The burger was pretty good. And he tried really hard. And you tried pretty hard too.

And your mom is on the couch and Kara is waiting in your bed. And you tell them that the whole experience was so amazing, but mostly you’re just tired.

You went on a date. And you went to the movies. And maybe you have a boyfriend now. And that’s okay - he’s exactly your type and your mom is happier than she’s been since your dad died, and Kara is so excited, and that’s enough. It is going to be enough.

It has to be enough.


	4. Maggie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Detective Sawyer finally makes an appearance!
> 
> Only one chapter left.

You are on your 9th date with Maggie.

 

There are people in your life that you love. People who have come in and changed everything. Kara is the best example of that. But you didn’t love her all at once. In fact, she kind of annoyed you in the beginning. It didn’t take long for her to become your whole world. But that happened slowly, slowly enough that you weren’t even able to see what was happening. You were too preoccupied with all of the appliances that scared her, all of the too-tight hugs, all of the late nights laughing harder than you ever have.  

 

Falling in love with Kara was like falling asleep in the back of your parents’ car on long drives when you were little; when you felt warm and safe, lulled into unconsciousness by your parents’ soft chatter, and the steady vibrations of the miles passing under you.

 

But falling for Maggie was like riding a motorcycle. You’ve never been more awake.

 

It hit you all at once. And like Kara, like J’onn, like Winn (who is somehow regularly the cause of swells of affection inside your chest lately), you didn’t exactly know what was happening right away.

 

Like all the other people you love, Maggie has your back. You know she’ll keep you safe. But you also feel a little out of control around her. Kara spent a few weeks worriedly noting your unsteady heart rate, the wild jumps it would take indiscriminately. She didn’t seem to see the common denominator, but it always came up on nights after you worked cases with Maggie. When she’d show up in a leather jacket, or a just-right dress, with a dead body when you needed to be absorbed in work and then a beer when you wanted to forget it.

 

Your stomach had been weird for a while - craving sweets in the middle of the day and unable to eat some nights. It’s been all flippy and fluttery and surging with that indescribable feeling you’ve only ever associated with a successful mission, or a complicated statistical model, successfully run and showing that you’ve made another scientific breakthrough, or a really sweet alien gun you get to add the ever-growing arsenal on your utility belt.

 

Kara later informed you that what you were feeling is what most people call butterflies - and _God_ , you thought “flippy and fluttery” had been embarrassing...

 

For the first time in, almost as long as you remember, you all of a sudden didn't know what to do with your hands, you couldn't find the right words, you couldn’t keep your focus on whatever was in front of you, or keep your thoughts inside your head. Only when Maggie was involved. Always when Maggie was involved.

 

You could usually keep it together when you had a mission - identifying a body and following leads, infiltrating an alien fight club, winning at pool, stitching up a shoulder. Maggie could finish your sentences so well you made several attempts to confirm that she wasn’t psychic. She followed your tactical lead as well as agents you worked with for years. She made up for her terrible billiards skills with an uncanny ability to trash talk - so that the primary game you were playing wasn’t actually pool at all. (Flirting you realized later - you guys were _flirting_.) The sight of her injured made you up your medical game. You were so determined to stop her bleeding, to make sure that her perfect skin was marred as little as possible. Somehow your extra-steady hands gave you the confidence to have a real conversation with her - all feelings and no stumbling.

 

It was similar to how you feel when Kara is injured, but without the desperate fear you spend most of your energy pushing down so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. Fear that you could lose your whole world with one mistake. You imagine you’re not going to be able to see Maggie injured without that sense of desperation for very much longer.  

 

You remember what you told her, right after you came out, that you feel like a kid again. You think that you were never really very good at it - being a kid. But you’re doing better this time around. You think you finally get it - the way Vicky used to feel on dates, the way Kara used to feel. You still get a little overwhelmed by all the things you spent a lifetime _not_ feeling. But Maggie is there for you, every time. To remind you that it’s a good thing. That it’s called being happy. That you should get used to it.

 

And a few weeks of happiness isn’t going to make up for a lifetime of too much responsibility, of denying yourself so many small pleasures and so many small heartaches that you somehow managed to keep an entire facet of your personality from even yourself. But you’ve never felt more like you, and that’s not nothing.

 

You like getting used to being happy. Of recognizing all of the ways Maggie surprises you with happiness.

 

So you take it in stride when she jumps up and _squeals_ from her position on the couch next to you when a Star Wars commercial comes on. She turns to you and says “babe, doesn’t this one look so _sick_?! It’s supposed to be darker than the other ones. A _real_ war movie. We’ll have to go the moment we’re both free after it comes out.” She cracks a joke about you dressing up as Princess Leia. You almost miss it because you have too many thoughts running through your brain.

 

You’re first instinct is to bristle. She delights in calling you a nerd any chance she gets because of your work. Even though she literally works with you most of the time. But you’re not the one who is regularly making nerdy pop culture references. She hasn’t gone a day since you met her without mentioning James Bond, or Stargate, or the Walking Dead, or Leslie Willis’s radio show. Or Star Wars.

 

She watches, listens to, reads a lot more pop culture than you. She’s teaching you how to enjoy things that aren’t directly related to saving the world, things that aren’t loud music and a glass of good bourbon. You’ve seen your share of popular movies and TV shows, but only with Kara. You’ve really only ever done things you ended up enjoying if you were indulging her.

 

And as nerdy as your academic and professional pursuits have always been, at least you’ve never been the type to dress up in silly costumes. Although you suppose Kara kind of fits that description. And Winn almost definitely. And James now too, you guess. And Clark has always...okay, this line of thought wasn’t going to help your case.

 

Second, you let yourself enjoy the way she automatically includes you in her plans, how quickly you became a “we”. You’ve never been part of a “we” before that didn’t feel at least a little bit like a burden. Maggie is always inviting you to crime scenes and concerts. She always includes you in her order when she gets coffee. She teased you all day a few weeks ago, when you left her apartment early for work and she accidentally made too many eggs, on sleepy autopilot. (“What was I supposed to do, Al? Who do you think I am, that sister of yours?”) You showed up to her place that night with 3 raw eggs, and she smiled at you so wide and kissed you so slow, and you definitely didn’t leave before breakfast the next morning.

 

Third, you realize you haven’t ever really been on a movie date, at least one you enjoyed. You’ve never been to the movies with your _girlfriend_. You feel that...butterfly ( _ugh_ )...sensation again, so that’s the thought you focus on. You tell Maggie that you can’t wait, and you start making plans.

 

They fall through, of course. Your plans for dinner and a movie get pushed aside in favor of Chinese food over 4am paperwork after an all-night battle with Cadmus.

 

Because Maggie put in an unexpected full shift with the DEO, she gets the next day off, and when you finally leave the building together at around 8am, you convince her to make your date coffee and a movie instead. You were shy about asking, thinking it was a silly idea, from that latent teenage/first love part of your brain, but she smirks and says “I like the way you think, Danvers” as grabs your left arm with both hands.

 

You get lattes and pastries from her favorite cafe and two tickets to the early morning show.

 

As you walk into the movie theater, you notice the little bounce in your step, the way you feel more adrenaline coursing through your body now than when you went toe to toe with a Hellgrammite a few hours ago. You see that the ICEE machine is working, and you pull Maggie over to the concession stand. You give her a glib line about how you’re not denying yourself small pleasures anymore, but based on the tilt of her head and narrowing of her eyes, she recognizes the weight behind it.

 

You try not to feel silly as you layer the flavors one after the other, and cringe slightly when you hear Maggie trying to hold back a laugh behind you. You turn around, because even if she’s teasing you, you’re not going to deny yourself the small pleasure of the way her throat bobs when she laughs like that either. She just looks at you with twinkling eyes and says “Nice technique, Danvers” and you immediately shoot back “You have no idea, Sawyer” as you lick some spilled white cherry from your thumb. You think briefly that flirting is so much more enjoyable when you recognize that it is happening.

 

You’re almost alone in the theater, but you still sit directly next to Maggie. She lifts up the armrest between you and casually throws her left arm over the back of your seat. When you glance at it with a raised eyebrow, she takes a slow sip of her coffee and says “You’re not the only one with some techniques you haven’t shown off yet, Agent Danvers.” You think of...nothing. Normally, you have about three of four lines on the tip of your tongue, but all you think of right now is that there’s tiny bit of foam on her upper lip, and the silent invite of her arm, and the way your chest feels a little too tight despite the distinct lack of thoracic injuries from your overnight brawl. You face her, lean your head against the crook of her elbow and gently wipe the milk off her mouth with your left thumb, as you smile at her. She bites her lower lip when you pull away and looks a little sheepish and you wonder how you got so lucky; how many times you’re going to be blessed with the impossible.

 

You snuggle up to her during the previews, occasionally sipping your treat. You offer it to her a few times. She teases you after her first sip (“Wow, you’ll have to give me that recipe sometime, babe.”) and this time you have a retort at the ready (“You better watch yourself, Sawyer. You know, I don’t share my ICEEs with just anyone. It’d be a shame if your privileges were revoked...”) You notice she takes small sips. She’s not one to deny you small pleasures either.

 

The movie is okay. There are enough fights and explosions to hold your interest, but you can’t help but focus on your girlfriend. You’re not sure if you’ve ever been more aware of your body. Every time you are with Maggie you can feel every millimeter of skin that is touching her, and every millimeter of skin that should be. Can feel how warm she is. How her pulse is slow and steady. How her muscles react to the smallest of your movements - to keep you safe, to keep you comfortable.

 

You only feel this way when you’re with Maggie or when you’re fighting. And tonight you’ve had both. A chance to save the world, to backup your sister. The way your body took milliseconds to react to the Hellgrammite’s blows and counterattack. The way your body took even less time to react to Maggie when she simultaneously pulled you to her and pushed you both against your desk as she kissed you the first moment you were safe and alone. The way her left hand kept finding your thigh under the table as she held chopsticks in the other, and joked with Winn and James between bites.

 

And now you are curled up against her, your breath hitting her neck, just under her chin, where you’re nuzzled into her, your favorite spot. You can feel her flinch when your breath is too cold right after a sip of your drink, but she immediately brings her cheek down to the top of your head and pulls you a little closer. She doesn’t deny herself small pleasures either.

 

The day, and night, and day, starts to wear off of you, and you realize you're a little tired. But not the kind of tired you used to be. When you couldn’t stop thinking, or moving, or protecting, or studying, or shooting. When you would dream about all of the things you had to do, or all of the things you didn’t do well enough. When you were constantly going from 0 to 60 and back again.

 

Lately, with Maggie, you just feel still, sleepy, sated. Even on nights you don’t have sex. Just her presence is enough. Like right now, with the length of her body against yours.

 

Most of the time when you’re with her - solving crimes or playing pool or kicking your friends’ asses at Celebrity - you feel like you just stepped out of a cold shower, jumped into a freezing lake. You are alert and aware and alive. Sometimes, when it’s just the two of you, in your apartment, or hers, on the back of her motorcycle, you feel like you’re on fire. That you’ll combust if she doesn’t touch you. That you’ll combust if she does. But a lot of the time, it’s just like this - warm and still, like a long bath after an even longer day.

 

You have some vague memories of being relaxed. Mostly they include your dad, and don't include Kara, so you know you were pretty young. But Maggie taught you about that too. About how much joy can be found in not moving. In how nice it is to just _be_. Even when she’s not with you. Although it’s definitely easier when she is.

 

You start to realize that your eyes are closed and the dialogue is all jumbled together and not really making sense. You know this means you’re falling asleep. You have trouble sleeping in general, let alone in public. You can’t remember the last time you slept somewhere that wasn’t your place, or Kara’s, or the DEO. You think you might have to add Maggie’s place to that list. Or maybe just add Maggie to that list.

 

It’s rare that you let your guard down, even for a minute. You get nervous even blinking most of the time. But you’re not scared now because Maggie is here and Maggie is a cop and Maggie is _Maggie_. She won’t let anything hurt you.

 

You wake up to her gently shaking your right side, a mouth moving against your forehead. You feel her voice gently vibrating through you “Al, baby, it’s time to wake up. The movie’s over.” You recognize the music playing around you. When you tilt your head up to look at her, she smiles at you and says “morning, sunshine” in the same way she does when you wake up to the smell the of the coffee she makes you most mornings. You start to mumble an apology, but Maggie stops you, pecks your cheek, just at the corner of your eye, and says “Kara told me this would probably happen.” You mutter “tattletale” under your breath, but she must hear you because she starts laughing. You lean forward, put your head up against her neck, because feeling her laughter is even better than seeing it.

 

You get up, start to stretch, and say “so, was Rogue One as good as all your internet nerd friends said it was?” She looks up at you and seems to stop herself from saying whatever was going to come out of her mouth automatically, stands up, and says. “Yeah. It was great. What about you? Did you enjoy it?

 

You put your hands on her hips and start to lean in as you tell her sincerely, “You know what Mags? I really did. I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time at the movies.”

 

When she pulls back from your kiss, she grabs her coffee cup with one hand and your hand with the other and says “Alright sleepy, let’s go get you back to bed.”

  
You gladly follow her, and don't argue, even though you’ve never felt more awake.


	5. Jamie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie's first movie.

You are 4 years and 6 days old.

 

The sun is not up yet, but you’ve never felt more awake.

 

Mommy said you could go to the movies when you’re 4, but you had to wait until a day that Mama and Mommy both don't have to go to work. Today is Thursday which is a go to school day but Mama say it’s okay and that you don’t have go to school. You always love the days that Mama and Mommy are both home because it means that everything is safe and there is no work no school and you get to be with both of them at the same time which is your favorite thing.

 

(A little bit your favorite thing is flying with Aunt Kara but you don’t tell your moms that.)

 

You wake up and you are so excited because it is movie day. You go to the potty, all by yourself because you are big enough to do that now, and then run into your moms’ room. They are still asleep which is crazy because it is _movie day_! You jump on their bed and whisper “Good morning moms. Wake up, it’s movie day!” Okay, so you kind of said that in a yelly way even though you tried to say it in a whispery way.

 

Mommy’s whole body jumps like it always does when she is surprised. Mama says she does that because at work she always has to be ready, even if she is asleep. But then she puts her head near Mama’s face and says “it’s too early…” and Mama says “you don’t even know what time it is Danvers” then looks at her phone and says “but you're right, it is too early”.

 

Mama calls Mommy “Danvers” even though really her name is Alex, and she calls Aunt Kara “Little Danvers” even though she is big. Mama calls you a lot of silly names too. Sometimes she calls you “Ms. Danvers-Sawyer” which makes you feel grown up because that is what Uncle J’onn and the other people at Mommy’s work call you too. Sometimes Mommy calls Mama “Sawyer”. You think this is a grownup thing because nobody at school uses last names except for you have to call the teachers their last names and they are grownups too.

 

Mama grabs you from your spot on top of Mommy and pulls you down to her. It makes you laugh because it is a good surprising, not a bad surprising like when there is monsters on the TV. She smiles and tells you “the movie is not for 5 hours, baby. It wouldn’t be ready even if we get up now. So we’re going to cuddle for a little bit.”

 

Time is confusing because sometimes is goes very fast but sometimes it goes _so_ slow. You ask Mama how much 5 hours is. Mommy says, kind of mixed up because her words go into the pillow, “10 episodes of _Spongebob_ ”. And you say “No!” a little bit loud even though it gets you in trouble sometimes. Mama laughs and says “That’s til the movie starts. We’re only going to lay here until 7. That is faster than _2 Spongebobs_ , J.”

 

You don’t like this plan but also you don’t want to get in trouble and get your movie taken away like sometimes you get your treats taken away when you don’t listen. You ask Mama if you can get a book because their bed is bo-ring. She laughs and says you can. After you climb down and start running to your room you hear her say “I don’t think our bed is that boring, what about you, babe?” And even though you don’t hear Mommy’s answer, you know it is probably yes because grownups always like things that are not fun.

 

You must have fallen asleep, because now your moms are gone, but Aunt Kara is smiling at you and tickling your back. She says, “wake up sleepyhead, it’s time for breakfast”. You are afraid that maybe your moms left without you so you jump up and say “did I miss movie day?!”. She laughs and says “no cupcake, it’s not time for the movie yet. Not til after breakfast”.

 

You ask her again if she can come with you. She says not this time, that today is just a family thing for you and your moms. Sometimes family means just you and your moms, but sometimes it means Kara too because she is Mommy’s sister, and sometimes it means _everybody_ like Uncle James, and Winn, and Aunt Lucy, and Uncle J’onn. And sometimes it means Grandma and Grandpop and all of Mama’s family that lives far away in a country called Nebraska. It's very confusing.

 

Aunt Kara promises that soon you’ll go to the movies, just you and her. She tells you again about how Mommy took her to her first movie when they were kids. You think she really likes this story because it makes her smile a lot, and her eyes get kinda watery even though she’s not crying, and she’s always extra nice to Mommy after she tells it.

 

She picks you up and pretends that you are flying to the dining room. She always makes cool noises and sayings even though you know that doesn’t happen during real flying. She always calls you her favorite sidekick. You think she says that a little bit because she really likes it, because sometimes she says it when you are alone, but mostly she says it around Mommy because Mommy’s eyes get kind of closey and she points her finger and says “don’t even _think_ about it” in her “this is very serious” voice. It always makes you and Aunt Kara laugh and laugh.

 

Aunt Kara is Supergirl but you’re not allowed to tell anybody that because it is a secret dentity. It is confusing because it’s kind of like how Mommy is called “Alex” and “Danvers” but that’s not a secret. Whenever Kara is in her Supergirl clothes you are only supposed to call her “Supergirl” and act like she is not in your family. It is _so_ hard because she is the coolest and everyone looks at her so happy and you want them all to know that _you_ are her favorite sidekick. That you are her favorite person, even though she saved some other kid probably.

 

She always tells you she is proud of you for sharing her, and everyone at Mommy’s work always says it is amazing and grown up that you never call her “Aunt Kara” when she is in her Supergirl clothes, but it’s not even a hard thing like writing letters, or talking quietly. Mama always laughs and says that it would probably be hard for other kids but not you because keeping secrets is your family business.

 

Mama and Mommy are at the table and that makes you feel “phew”; they didn’t leave without you. Aunt Kara puts you in your special chair as Mama says “what took you two so long? Solving a crime? Righting a wrong? Saving the planet?” and Aunt Kara walks around the table grabbing a lot of food and says “Nope. Even more important.” Then looks at you and winks and says “Discussing movie day”. Then she gives Mommy a kiss on the cheek before she sits down. Mommy closes her eyes for a second like she does when she’s really happy.

 

Mama puts your special plate and cup in front of you and you say that you are not hungry even though you a little bit are. Mommy says “nice try. You’re going to sit here during breakfast with us whether you eat or not, so you might as well do it. Not eating isn’t going to make the movie come any faster.” You don’t know how Mommy knows so many tricks. You think that’s probably why she catches so many bad guys.

 

When you take a bite of your toast, Kara says “You guys have to tell me everything about the movie later. That bunny looks _so_ cute.” You are going to see _Zootopia_ where there is a bunny that is a police officer. Mommy keeps saying that she picked it because it reminds her of Mama, even though Mama is not a bunny. Right away, Mama says “Don’t even think about it” pointing to Mommy but not looking at her. Mommy closes her mouth, and you think that Mama knows a lot of tricks too. All the bad guys that try to fight them are _so_ stupid.

 

Aunt Kara’s food is already done even though she had the most. She says that she has to go to work and that she’ll see you later. She gives you a hug and three kisses, and then kisses the top of Mama’s head and says “have a good time” and then puts her hands on the Mommy’s shoulders and says “and _you_ , enjoy your nap”. Mommy rolls her eyes even that is not polite and Mama laughs. You think that she probably thinks it is funny because Mommy _never_ takes naps.

 

After breakfast, it is time to get dressed which is easy because you already picked out your clothes and you are very good at putting them on all by yourself if there is no zippers or buttons. When you are done, you see that Mommy is putting all of your breakfast things in the dishwasher. Mama is standing real close and looking up at her and smiling a lot. They always smile a lot on no school no work days. They are always standing close to each other and hugging and kissing and it is weird. You like it better when they are hugging and kissing you. Aunt Kara always tells you that she thinks it is nice when they do things like that and that it is good that your moms are in love. She tells you that Mommy didn’t used to smile a lot before she met Mama, even when she was really happy.

 

You tell them that you are all dressed and ready. They look at you, and Mama says to Mommy, “you finish that. I got shoe duty,” then kisses her cheek. She comes over to you and says “alright birthday girl, go get your shoes, I’ll help you put them on”. Then your moms put on their shoes too and you are happy because that means it is _finally_ movie time.

 

But it’s _not_ movie time yet because you have to go do a lot of errands first. Errands are boring grownup things that take for-ever. Normally you hate them, but this time it is even worse. You start to feel upset but Mommy and Mama are being extra nice and don’t yell at you for being antsy like normal. You don’t know if this is a birthday thing or a movie day thing, but you like it.

 

You are so bored at the drug store until you get to the candy aisle and Mommy tells you that you can pick two things. You feel your eyes get big and then Mama laughs and says “you can’t see a movie without candy, kiddo”. You take a long time because you want to make sure you get the right things. You get to put them up on the counter all by yourself, and then Mama says “you got money for those, right?” and then she laughs and the lady behind the counter laughs even though it is not funny and she says that _all the time_. You look at her very serious when she makes her breath come out real fast and says “ _fine_ , I’ll spot you this time, but you’ve really got to start pulling your weight around here. You _are_ four now.” You put your head against Mommy’s leg and she looks down at you, runs her fingers through your hair, and smiles and shakes her head, because she already heard this joke a lot too.

 

You get to the movie theater and it is huge-mongous. You get your tickets and then popcorn and cups for soda. But then Mommy gets an ICEE, and shows you how to work the machine to get all of the flavors. Mama says “still got great technique, Danvers” and Mommy smiles real big. Normally you would ask what that word means but it’s your turn to get your ICEE. You think the movies has special rules because Mommy never drinks treats like this and Mama always tells you to eat healthy. You like the movie rules.

 

You go into the special movie room and it is really dark, but you are not scared because there is lights on the floor and Mommy has her hand on your shoulder. Mama always says that when she does that it’s like she’s driving you. She steers you into a row of really big chairs. She sits on one side of you and Mama sits on the other. On Mama’s side there is a button that makes the chair go back and a foot thing come up.

 

There are commercials before the movie. Mama tells you to get comfy. Mommy already is. Her chair is back, and she is kind of laying down on her side and drinking her drink.

 

A little bit after the movie starts, you turn to ask Mommy a question but she is sleeping. She never sleeps during the day unless she is sick or hurt. You turn to Mama because it’s scary when Mommy is hurt. You grab her shirt and tell her that Mommy is probably sick, even though it is movie day. She smiles and whispers to you that everything is okay, “Mommy’s not sick, baby. She just does this sometimes. Just watch, okay.” and rubs your back.

 

You try to keep watching because the movie bunny _is_ very cute just like Aunt Kara said, but mostly you are just watching Mommy. You don’t see her sleep a lot because she usually goes to sleep after you go to bed, and wakes up before you do. She looks really comfy. You cuddle up next to her, and even though she is sleeping, she puts her arm around you.

 

You look at the screen like Mama told you to, but you are a little bit tired, and all the colors are happy but Mommy is very warm, and you love to sleep with Mommy, and you _never_ get to.

 

Next thing you know Mama is kissing you and telling you that the movie is over and it is time to go. As you start stretching, Mama looks at Mommy and says “of course she fell asleep.” And Mommy doesn’t answer but her head kinda moves and you think she gave Mama her “oh, Maggie” look, because Mama says in her bedtime-story voice, “My girls...I guess this is par for the course then, huh?”

 

And you don’t know what some of those words mean, but Mommy is laughing her special “Mama” laugh while saying “yeah”, and Mama is looking at her with her special “oh, Alex” look, and you are happy, and you think that this is a very good birthday even though it is six days late and you don’t know about what happened in _Zootopia_.

 

Because you’re hugging Mommy and Mama in the dark with the nice movie music happening around you. And even though they kiss for a long time over your head, which usually feels yuck, it’s not super-gross this time because it feels very like the thing Mama always calls “family”.

 

You really love movie day.

**Author's Note:**

> The movies I'm using are true to the general timeframe of Alex's life, but maybe not exact.


End file.
